“Choo choo”

I just got home from work, and needed a wee, so – as you do, I popped to the bathroom, and shut the door behind me.

Next thing you know, the door opens, and a certain 1 year old joins me.  He then insisted that I couldn’t move until I read a book to him…

So, what should have been a 60 second affair turned in to 10 minutes of sitting on the toilet, pants around ankles, with a child on my knee, whilst reading about a little blue train that goes “Choo choo”.

The joys of parenthood.

17 pairs of boobies that are practically perfect

1. Let’s just settle this once and for all, there is no such thing as a perfectly matching pair of boobies.

Let's just settle this once and for all, there is no such thing as a perfectly matching pair of boobies.

Lake Skinner / Via Flickr: pazzani

2. In fact, boobies come in all different shapes…

In fact, boobies come in all different shapes...

Mindstorm-inc / Getty Images

3. …sizes…

...sizes...

Estivillml / Getty Images

4. …and colors.

...and colors.

Kjorgen / Getty Images

5. Some pairs of boobies don’t even look remotely the same.

Some pairs of boobies don't even look remotely the same.

Chemistkane / Getty Images

6. While others look almost like twins. ALMOST.

While others look almost like twins. ALMOST.

Elisalocci / Getty Images

7. Some pairs of boobies like to face a specific direction together.

Some pairs of boobies like to face a specific direction together.

8. While other pairs of boobies face the total opposite direction from each other.

While other pairs of boobies face the total opposite direction from each other.

Mike’s Birds

9. Some pairs of boobies sit up high.

Some pairs of boobies sit up high.

Donyanedomam / Getty Images

10. Other pairs hang out down low.

Other pairs hang out down low.

Bartus Hendrikse / Getty Images

11. Some booby pairs sit far apart.

Some booby pairs sit far apart.

Jtstewartphoto / Getty Images

12. While others sit very close together.

While others sit very close together.

Drew Avery / Via Flickr: 33590535@N06

13. Boobies can appear long and lean.

Boobies can appear long and lean.

Bk-photos / Getty Images

14. Or short and squat.

Or short and squat.

Goddard_photography / Getty Images

15. Sometimes boobies point up high, while others point down low…even in the same pair!

Sometimes boobies point up high, while others point down low...even in the same pair!

Estivillml / Getty Images

16. Basically, boobies are the best…

Basically, boobies are the best...

Javarman3 / Getty Images

17. …and each and every pair is uniquely beautiful.

...and each and every pair is uniquely beautiful.
Bkk2008 / Getty Images
Repost.  Full credit given to this post on Buzz Feed

Car conversations with my 4 yr old

Conversation in the car between my 4 year old and I, last night:

Gning: “You look like a Numtum”
Me: “Well, you are a Numtum”
Gning: “Well, you’re a tumnum”
Me: “Well, you’re smelly”
Gning: “Well, you’re Mr. Maker”
Me: “I’m not Mr. Maker, I’m Mrs. Maker. I make best things in the world anyway. Do you know why?”
Gning: “Why?”
Me: “Because I made you and your brother”.

Expecting silence from this point, but no. Gning always has to have the last word…

Gning: “You didn’t make me and (my brother) – God did.”

’nuff said.

10 things that made Christmas in the 80’s the best…

I’ve neglected this blog a little recently, so I think it’s about time that I brought a little “Festiveness” (is that even a word?  No?  Oh well…  I like it, so I’m going to use it anyway) to you, in the form of a list!  Afterall, who doesn’t love a good list?  🙂

Christmas just isn’t the same nowadays is it? We find it very difficult to feel that magic we felt as kids. The whole experience has changed so much over the last couple of decades, with Internet shopping, a million TV channels and a whole host of electronic gadgetry available to us, it’s easy to forget the simpler times.

In no particular order, let’s give you my top ten reasons as to why Christmas was so much better in the 80’s.

  1. TV Times / Radio Times

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With no internet or smartphones the only way to find out what was coming up on TV was on teletext or in TV listing mags. The TV Times and Radio Times were the go to TV guides and of course, back in the day, you had to buy both to know what was on all the channels. When the bumper Christmas Edition was released no one could stop us sitting and circling everything we were going to watch over the festive period.

2.  Selection boxes

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Let’s face it they were just better back then.  The bars were bigger, they tasted better and they had some awesome treats inside!  Oh, you also definitely got your moneys’ worth.

3.  The Argos catalogue

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The Argos catalogue, or any other catalogue for that matter (remember Index?!).  We couldn’t browse the internet back then so this is what we used to find things to put on our list for Santa!

4.  The music

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At least we had a couple of REAL Christmas N0.1’s in the 80s!  The charts were filled with Christmas classics from Shakin’ Stevens, The Pogues, Band Aid, Paul McCartney and Wham!

5.  The movies

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We had some classic Christmas movies in the 80s.  They were that good they are repeated every year on TV!  Santa Claus The Movie was one of my favourites, at the time.  What was yours?

6.  TV Christmas specials

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Christmas specials were the business in the 80s.  What ever your favourite TV show was, I bet they did a Christmas special. Some of the Kids Christmas Specials were a little interesting to say the least!

7.  Decorations

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They may seem a bit old fashioned and out of style now but back in the day the louder, the shinier, and the brighter, the better!  These decorations were hung all over our house – attached to the ceiling with a drawing pin!

8.  Christmas shopping

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Remember when we actually had to leave the house to do our Christmas Shopping?  The high streets were packed at this time of year with people trying to find the perfect gift for their loved ones.  Shops went all out with the Christmas decorations, and you couldn’t carry all of the FREE carrier bags you’d been given to get your purchases home!  Oh, and let’s not forget, that for some reason, it was also much easier to buy gifts to people too!

9.  Christmas present hunt

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I’m sure kids all over the world still do this, but do you remember when your parents weren’t looking, you used to dive into the cupboards and wardrobes to try and get a sneak peak at all the gifts they had bought you? You’d have to be quick though before they sent them all off to Santa for him to deliver on Christmas Day!

10.  The toys

frosty

Toys in the 80s were just better.  There’s no doubt about it all of the things we had as kids were well…  Just cooler than the toys that are around now!  I never did get that Mr Frosty though (thanks mum) 😦  Ha ha x

20 ways kids make Christmas magical

It’s easy for Christmas BC (Before Children) to feel more about our hangovers and expanding waistlines (not to mention our overdrafts) than any real festive spirit. Then you have a child and all that changes. Not since you were a nipper, anxiously listening out for Father Christmas in your PJs, have you felt so infused with joy and enchantment.

Here are 20 ways that Christmas becomes magical when you’re a parent …

1. It used to drive you bonkers that Christmas started pretty much in October (oh, yes it did…) but now you can’t wait for the shops to bust out the Christmas lights and to hear Noddy Holder’s dulcet tones. Ooh, and the advent calendars, and the ads and the Christmas lists…  How many times have you rewritten yours?

2. Nothing can prepare you for the heart-melting sweetness of watching your little one in their very first Christmas nativity or school play, whether they have a starring role or not (it’s Gning’s first Nativity on 7 December).  Don’t forget your tissues!

Children's nativity play

3. Kids make it OK to sport clashing decorations and an OTT Christmas tree.  In fact, the more of mash-up of colours and styles of baubles, the better.

4. It’s FINALLY acceptable to buy chocolate decorations again. Just remember to leave a few for the kids, eh?

5. Their Christmas list to Santa reads like a stock-taking sheet of ToysRUs and Smyths combined.  But it’s the ‘and I’ve been soooo good’ line that really makes you smile.

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6. Thank goodness this year you’ve got a good excuse for the misshapen mince pies.  All your toddler’s own work, yes?

7. You love channelling your inner-storyteller with stories of Father Christmas and seeing your children’s eyes widen with delight.

8. Creating your very own traditions is something you’ll share for a lifetime.  Maybe you write a Christmas poem together, or put on a little festive play for the grandparents?  Or leave one more present in the garden to be discovered – “Oh look!  Santa must have dropped it!”

9. Leaving a glass or milk (or something stronger) for Father Christmas, and a carrot for Rudolph, never loses it’s charm.  And neither does…

10. …drinking that something stronger on Christmas Eve, when the wee ones are safely asleep.

11. Nothing beats that amazing feeling of satisfaction on Christmas Eve when everything is wrapped and ready for the next day.  Savour the scene – because the next day it’s carnage!  Hope your recycling bins are empty…

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12. Not to encourage your inner bah, humbug, but it’s a great time of year to dodge any tedious social engagements: honestly, babysitters are so unreliable…

13. Family films are no longer an indulgence, they’re mandatory.  From the Muppet’s Christmas Carol to Home Alone, it’s the perfect season to snuggle up on the sofa.

14. Talking of which, make your brood hot chocolate with marshmallows. And have one yourself.

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15. Place your bets on what time Christmas Day officially starts.  And yes, it feels magical even though it’s 5am.

16. As you watch them open their pressies, you remember the fizzy feeling of thrill and excitement you had as a child.  And seeing the joy your children bring to their grandparents is priceless.

17. Eating together as a family is something to take time over and savour.  Who cares if the potatoes are a tiny bit burnt, or the sprouts a bit hard?  It doesn’t have to be perfect to be appreciated.

Family-Christmas-Pictures-2

18. Snow is what dreams are made of when you’re five.  And snow at Christmas…  Cue delirious children and giggling parents!

19. The pleasure of tumbling back into a warm and cosy house after a good old stomp outside brings the colour to everyone’s cheeks.

20. Knowing at the close of Christmas day that the hard work is over for another year – and despite the odd flurry of tears and tantrums – they’ve had a pretty wonderful day.  Well done, you.  Only 365 days to go…

keep-calm-only-365-days-till-christmas

If Father Christmas had a blog…

If Father Christmas had his very own blog, here’s a selection of blog post titles…

  • Fat Free Cookies? Ain’t No Belly Got Time For That!
  • Why Miley Cyrus is on the Naughty List this Year
  • 10 Tips To A Better Picture With Me
  • News Flash: Elf on a Shelf Does NOT Report To Me
  • My Wife STILL Gets Upset When I’m Out All Night
  • How To Eat Cookies And Mince Pies All Night Without Getting Full.
  • Craft-A-Day Calendar: {ie. 364 ways to avoid being bored.}
  • RED: Why It Should Be Everyone’s Favorite Colour: {ie. Don’t be afraid to be a man, or woman, with style.}
  • Managing the Happiness of Elves
  • How to Stay Jolly Whilst Living at the North Pole
  • 10 Ways to Use Up Leftover Fruitcake
  • 10 Different Outfits From One Red and White Jumpsuit (for his fashion blog)
  • What I’ve Found in My Beard
  • Time Management Tips: How to Appear Everywhere at Once
  • 7 Tips to Speed-Reading: How I Learned to Check the List Twice in Half the Time
  • Elf Shoes: How To Keep Your Elves Smiling Anyway
  • An Open Letter to the Music World: Stop Already, We Have Enough Christmas Songs.

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Young love

Gning’s just got changed for bed, and he has his vest on inside out.

Hubby asked him if he had been changed in school today, because it was the right way round this morning. Gning replied “no. I didn’t do it, the teacher didn’t do it, and my friends didn’t do it…” The smile on his face was a cheeky one.

I asked “have you been playing with Belle today?”

Gning replied, “yes, but I wasn’t nudey…”

Well. I should bloody hope not either!!

**Belle is his girlfriend. My 4 year old boy has a girlfriend

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