Today I am 38 weeks pregnant.
Last night was the last time I will ever sleep in my own bed, cuddling my ‘only’ child.
At 6pm today, I am being admitted to hospital, as because I am having an elective c-section (due to medical reasons), I need to start a course of steroid injections before the surgery. My antenatal consultant stated that I could have had the injections as an out-patient, but because of complications that could arise, she would rather that I just go in today as an in-patient, and “see it out”. I thought it best to follow her advice.
On Monday, 1 June 2015, our second ‘bundle of blue’ will be ‘hatched’ in to the world. I have no idea on the time of the surgery yet, although I have been told that because I will already be an in-patient, it is more than likely going to be the first or second section of the morning.
I’m nervous. No. I’m terrified. I have what is known as the ‘second child fear’. I suppose I should have tried to tackle this much earlier, but I have been assured from so many people that my thoughts will disappear.
Basically, I am worried that Gning is going to feel neglected when Donut comes along. Is he going to be jealous..? I don’t think so… He’s been cuddling me, and asking questions – for probably the past 6 months – and asking if he can “shake Donuts hands” when he’s here. I don’t think the problem is with Gning. No. It’s me. I’m scared that I cannot love a second child… Will I be able to love Donut as much as I love Gning? Will I have to share the love..? According to everyone I have already spoken to, they are empty anxieties. I will always love my little man as strongly as I do now; and when Donut arrives, and is in my arms, apparently, there’s another “bubble of love” that will pop, and it’ll be like I double the amount of love I have to give.
I’m ok. I promise! It is just the nerves talking…
It’s 9:10am, Saturday morning. I’ve been up for a little under an hour; and I already have my lunch in the slow cooker. We’re having braising steak, in a mushroom gravy, with baby new potatoes (with the skins still on); buttered with herbs. It was delicious last time we had it, and I imagine it’s going to be just as lush this time – although hubby dearest is disagreeing me with, as he and mushrooms just don’t see eye-to-eye… Ahh well. It just means more for me 😛
I have a relatively full day today. You know – considering I said that I am going to try to have a lazy day at home, before heading up to my parents, so they can ‘escort’ me to the hospital. Plans never seem to follow through though, when you want a quiet day.
So, this is the last post I am making as being a parent to an ‘only’ child. The next post I write will no doubt be to introduce our latest addition 🙂
Until then, have a wonderful weekend x